Tuesday, July 19, 2011

1 Year Anniversary

The anniversary of my induced miscarriage came and went last Thursday and though I cried a little bit that morning and just before dinner as we prayed, I was ok most of the day.  I thought of Olivia, wondered what would have been had she been on time and full-term.  What would our life be like?  It certainly would be much different than it has been, I know that much.  Instead of our infant daughter, we have a void, our hearts hurt.  But, we are ever thankful for our older girls, they were our blessings first, and still are.

Tuesday, July 12, 2011


One year ago today, I had my appt. with Dr. Thomas in preparation for the induced miscarriage. (sniff, sniff tears rolling down my cheeks)  We discussed the procedures available to us, as well as the outcomes, and I had one last ultrasound to confirm the harsh reality.  He offered us the most kind and compassionate words, reassuring me that he would handle this with much care.

Thank you Dr. Thomas for being brave enough to help those of us who experience heartbreak when we lose our babies, and doing it in such a kind, caring way.  I only hope you might be able to instruct Dr. Dhami in your "gentler ways".  I assume you might have been a bit more careful than he was and that you would not have inflicted the same pain he did.

Friday, July 8, 2011

A Year Ago Yesterday

I had my ultrasound to find out if we were having a boy or a girl.  I entered the radiology office with my husband in anticipation.  Not only to find out the sex of our baby, but we were leaving for Disneyland right afterwards.  After getting unusual instructions that I needed to get to Dr. Griffin's office immediately, we left in complete confuion.  We left Dr. Griffin's office in anguish, engulfed in devastation.  What do we tell the girls?  Do we go to Disneyland or cancel our trip?

I cried last night.